Written By: Dan Geer
Fellow students of Bill & Ted University, and the chemical, physical, and biological nature of love…
With 2020 being one of the most non–non-heinous years in the history of mankind, it has become totally clear that all time and reality as we know it has folded in on itself in a most egregious way. A way that only heroes from our past – the two great ones, Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted Theodore Logan – can totally restore balance to in the present. They must finally fulfill their destiny to explore the meaning of meaning and bring us the song that will unite the world in harmony and save reality as we know it.
While the Wyld Stallyns may be most unwise in the ways of science or politics to bring an end to our modern real-world problems, returning writers Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon have once again managed to make us totally forget about all of that for 1.5 hours in this most outstanding sequel to their 1989 and 1991 hit films Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. It’s almost as if all of our world’s odious issues totally disappeared in a most bodacious way when watching this stellar cinematic achievement of pure unadulterated nostalgia and escapism.
Helmed by the most excellent director of Galaxy Quest, Dean Parisot, Bill & Ted Face the Music begins by catching us up to what the two great ones have been doing since we last saw them. As it turns out, Wyld Stallyns did manage to obtain outstanding success at first after learning how to play their instruments all those years ago, and like, even had a hit song for a while – a song they totally thought would fulfill their destiny and unite the world. However, it didn’t last, the world moved on, and Bill and Ted became a most heinous relic of the past.
However, despite their bogus long-term circumstances, including a falling out with “Death” from Bogus Journey (reprised here once again by the great William Sadler), Bill and Ted never gave up hope. For nearly thirty years, they continued writing songs into their middle age for any audience that would give them a chance, in hopes that they may totally bring balance and unite the world in harmony. In that time, their beloved medieval princesses from the the first two movies stuck by their side to help raise their daughters, Billie and Thea (a.k.a “little Bill’ and “little Ted” from Bogus Journey), sustaining normal jobs while their husbands continued writing songs most aggressively, but to no avail.
Just as discouragement finally begins to set in for the both of them, middle-aged Bill and Ted are visited by an ambassador from the future with a familiar connection to their past (and future) to bring them vital information that they only have just 75 minutes left to save not only the world, but also reality across all space and time (that’s pretty much how much time we have left before the film ends, dudes). Seeing how their dads are totally in trouble, Billie and Thea (played by bodacious newbies Brigette Lundy-Paine and Samara Weaving, most respectively) also decide to help them out by embarking on a psychedelic journey of their own through time to gather some of history’s most excellent musical composers.
It must be stated that Matheson and Solomon teaming up with Parisot was a stroke of total genius and the perfect way to bring back Bill and Ted after all these years. Being in development for a decade, going through many phases of fits and starts, it seems that this has served them most triumphantly, as they now have had an outstanding amount of time to really nail the story in a way that honors the first two films that like, made these characters so memorable all these years, and yet totally delivers in giving the audience something most atypical (dudes, you totally won’t see the end coming, but it rocks)!
Had a third film been made immediately following Bogus Journey, we may not have gotten nearly as excellent a story as we have now. Bill and Ted as middle-aged men, husbands and dads still trying to save the world is a story that like, only could have been made today, and setting the story at this stage of their lives most definitely serves for a tale unrivaled by any other possible versions the world may have received decades ago.
When the three-quel was first announced, many fans (including myself) were most concerned that actors Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter may not be able to embody these beloved characters again after all this time. After all, it had totally been like decades since they last performed these characters, with Winter having not acted for quite some time after transitioning to directing films not long after Bogus Journey. But fear no more, dudes. Reeves and Winter both return to the roles with the same sort of grace and pure innocence they had brought to Bill and Ted previously, and pull it off most eloquently.
Bill and Ted never left Reeves and Winter, and Bill and Ted never left each other. They are still the best of friends, joined at the hip in this film every bit as much as in the previous two. Of course, they are not exactly the same, as they do have much adulting to do versus when we last saw them, and with this being a time travel film, we of course bump into a few unfamiliar versions of themselves. But despite getting thrust into the most inevitable trials of adulthood, dealing with things such as kids and marriage counseling, as well as enduring most heinous future versions of themselves – Reeves and Winter totally retain the essence of what made their characters special, and do so together – as one. Audiences will have a resplendent time watching these two embark on another most excellent adventure together.
It must also be noted how outstanding Lundy-Paine and Weaving are at bringing to life what are essentially younger female versions of Bill and Ted. Watching them partake in a stellar journey across time to help their dads save reality was most luminous, as we realize that these characters like, truly serve a very specific purpose to the story and aren’t just there for throwaway laughs – although their characters are indeed almost as entertaining as their most excellent dads. While some have argued that they totally melvined the legacy of Bill and Ted by the time we reach the end (to a minor extent I can sympathize with that point of view), they totally don’t, dudes (see spoiler section of this review after watching the movie). They merely enhance the message of Bill and Ted in a way that is true to what has come before, and yet expand on what we thought we knew as they help their dads fulfill their destiny. They are indeed most essential!
The film is filled with all sorts of excellent throwbacks that are definitely bound to make audiences most appreciative of Matheson and Solomon’s efforts in Face the Music. Fans totally loved Sadler as Death in Bogus Journey back in ’91, and bringing him back in the way they did here was a most intelligent move on the part of the writers. While his time was brief in the film, every moment he is on screen is full of the same type of lovable character beats that only Death can totally bring us, dudes! We also get introduced to some bodacious new talent with the actors that portray the roles of various historical musicians and composers, and even get treated to a killer robot from the future that steals every scene he is in. You will totally love this bot, dudes!
The appearance of rapper and songwriter Kid Cudi (whom I admittedly had never heard of until he was cast in this film), was a most anomalous choice to include in this film. There was really nothing wrong with his performance, or even having him in the film in some capacity. He even delivers some much needed comic relief in way that is most outstanding. However, having a young rap artist seems a bit out of place for a Bill and Ted film, as the characters of Bill and Ted, while accepting of many outstanding and diverse forms of music, mainly focus on heavy metal, as well as other historical forms of music that are more in step with the style of Bill and Ted (i.e. Mozart and Beethoven). Nothing against Kid Cudi, but why couldn’t they have just gotten Eddie Van Halen, dude?! That was totally Bill and Ted’s dream, and he would’ve been a most excellent and fitting mentor to shepherd the two great ones into uniting the world in song. Kid Cudi was good here, but still feels a tad out of step with the legacy of Bill and Ted, as he has not yet obtained legendary status himself in pop culture. But hey, at least the film essentially admits as much, dudes.
Minor quibbles aside, Bill & Ted Face the Music is indeed a most triumphant success overall. It hits some righteous beats when serenading us in music and nostalgia, gives us a much-needed dose of escapism and familiarity and like never overthinks anything (all three films can totally be picked apart when over analyzing their interpretations and depictions of time travel). These are simple-minded films starring fun-loving, simple-minded characters with a positive message. In addition, dudes, like Bogus Journey, the story also dares to be different enough from what has come before by expanding on what we’ve come to know previously, and bringing us to a totally different stage of the lives of Bill and Ted that justifies there being a sequel in the first place. It’s like a “Where Are They Now?” story, as well as a comeback success story all in one! It’s a story full of hope for the future, just like the first two films, staying totally true to the message of unity previously established. It is totally non-cynical, filled with sincere innocence and optimism – which is exactly what our world needs right now.
Be excellent to each other, and party on dudes. STATION!
Rating: 
(out of four)
Spoilers…
Addressing some of the more heinous comments that have already come in about Bill & Ted Face the Music regarding their daughters Billie and Thea writing the song that saves the world and all reality instead of their dads, we totally have to keep in mind that they are merely producers of the song, and Bill and Ted ultimately produced them. While I can sympathize with the opposition to some extent since we all thought Bill and Ted would write it, Billie and Thea would totally have never figured out that they needed to write the song without their most excellent dads discovering this in the first place. They totally needed their dads.
The movie never tries to say that Billie and Thea are actually the two great ones, like some have most egregiously accused the film of doing. It was Bill and Ted that solved the riddle of how to get the song written, and it was Bill and Ted that had to shred on guitar with the most excellent of riffs at exactly 7:17 PM on MP 46 to stop time from unraveling. It was also only Bill and Ted that realized they must travel across all time to distribute instruments for everyone to play the song with them at the same time. It is still Bill and Ted that united the world in musical harmony, dudes!
The ultimate message of Bill and Ted throughout the years is that we need to come together despite our differences to make a better world, which is why they ultimately acknowledged they totally needed help from everyone, including their own offspring, in order to fulfill their destiny. If we don’t get that, then all we are is dust in the wind, dude.
